Unrequited
by Starsabove0oru
Summary: For those of you who hate Tohma Seguchi, here is a side of him that may help you understand him more. Who knows... maybe you've had the same feelings as him? Suicide. Songfic.


**Ok... This is a one-shot, one-sided Tohma/Yuki and implied Yuki/Shuichi. I wrote this yesterday because I was depressed and I felt like crap... I don't own Gravitation...Oh and the song "Demolition Lovers" belongs to My Chemical Romance. Gerard rox my sox!**

**Dear Eiri:**

I'm completely bored out of my mind. There's nothing left for me to feel but depression or boredom. I know you'll never care about me, there's always someone else in your eye. I don't matter and I probably never will.

**Hand in mine, into your icy blues  
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway  
With this trunk of ammunition too  
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets**

What should I do? Should I just end it right here? Would you even miss me if I did? Threatening tears are forming in my eyes. All I wanted to do was take care of you. I know… I know that you meant so much more to me… I know… I know that I was just a friend to you and that's it…

**I'm trying, I'm trying  
To let you know just how much you mean to me  
And after all the things we put each other through and**

Maybe that's what hurts so much… Because no matter what I do, no matter how much I love you… You'll never feel the same way about me… Please… All I want to hear are those three special words… Even if you love me as a friend, I don't mind… I wouldn't care if you abused me… As long as…

**I would drive on to the end with you  
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full  
And I feel like there's nothing left to do  
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running**

Don't turn away from me… Don't hate me… Don't ignore me… Don't replace me… Don't forget me… Don't forsake me… I love you and I always will… I'll love you more than he ever will. You'll never believe it and I'll never stop loving you. I'll stick by you forever.

**But this time, I mean it  
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me  
As snow falls on desert sky  
Until the end of everything**

And when you're ill and exhausted, I'll be there to nurse you back to health. When you're lying in the hospital, staring up at the ceiling, I'll be the first to visit you. If anyone hurts you, I'd kill them. Without an iota of hesitation. I'd kill for you. I really would… and you know that…

**I'm trying, I'm trying  
To let you know how much you mean  
As days fade, and nights grow  
And we go cold**

I suppose that's what hurts the most. You know how much I'd do for you. You know how much I love you. But yet… you don't return my feelings. Then again… your happiness is more important than mine. You're happy with him. Opposites attract… I suppose. He was meant for you and you were meant for him.

**Until the end, until this pool of blood  
Until this, I mean this, I mean this  
Until the end of...**

I wish you loved me… I wish you returned my feelings. Please, just love me once… Complete me… My life… has no meaning without you. I am a lifeless zombie without your affection. The affection and tenderness that you only show him. The affection and tenderness that I will never know. Why… why don't you love me?

**I'm trying, I'm trying  
To let you know how much you mean  
As days fade, and nights grow  
And we go cold**

I'm so pathetic… All I can think about is you. If you're happy, I'm happy. If you're miserable, I cry for you… If you push me away, I won't disappear. My tears are falling now. I have to let this all out of me… Before I end it…

**But this time, we'll show them  
We'll show them all how much we mean  
As snow falls on desert sky  
Until the end of every...**

Even in death… my body will long for you… my soul will cry out for you… My world revolves around you… if only it was the same. I'm useless. I'm worthless. I couldn't save you from him. He stole your innocence; he demolished your sanity. Since that fatal night, you isolated yourself. Until you met him.

**All we are, all we are  
Is bullets I mean this  
As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms**

Your happiness was demolished by him. I was too late to save you… If I had known better… if I had… Why… You loved me then… You didn't push me away… We lived in New York together… We were happy. You were happy… Now that smile is only shown to him. You'll never smile for me again. Because I let you down. I'm so sorry… I never meant to… I love you… I love you… I love you…

**Forever, forever  
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning  
Forever, and ever  
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one  
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun**

And as I end this letter, the gun is on the table near me. If I can't have you, there's no point in living. It's as simple as that. I couldn't save you and I can't save myself. I will always love you… in life, in death, and in afterlife… I'll never stop loving you. Even as my dead body falls to the ground… I will still love you. Earning trust is difficult, but losing trust is easy. I lost your trust and I will never salvage it…

**And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood  
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down  
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down  
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood**

I suppose we were demolition lovers, because our love many years ago brought about your destruction.

**I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever**

Forever yours,

Tohma

**This letter was found next to Tohma Seguchi's dead body a half-hour later. **

**Well, I hoped you all liked it. If you did, please review! **


End file.
